After making a Youtube video on the steps I used to love myself more, I decided to list them up on my blog. These steps could be easy or hard depending on you personally. But if you are determined to feel exceptional in the self love department, then this process is completely worth it. Listed below
Step 1: Realization
In order to understand that I was lacking self love, I honestly had to realize I was lacking in the first place. Now, this part was pretty easy for me because of the horrible, repetitive experiences I kept enduring in a short period of time. My friends sucked, my financial situation was a disaster, and I was the mightiest negative Nancy.
I did not love myself at ALL. I was not comfortable in my gorgeous, brown, & fluffy body. I was not happy with my financial situation. I hated my friends and most of my family for not being there for me. I was an ungrateful, unappreciative, love-less-asshole. And I had every right to be considering the situations I put myself in. I did it to myself. Life came full speed with the fireballs and I didn’t catch them. I didn’t even put out the fire once they hit.
Step 2: Understanding Why? Question.
After my millionth breakdown, I came to a conclusion that something was very off with me. I completely lost it and was ready to get it all back together. The next morning I sat on my air mattress (because I was that freaking poor) and I thought of what was missing in my life to cause me to be in the situation that was in at that very moment. Also, why do I not love myself? I reflected, prayed, and laid until the most legitimate answer burst through my brain.
- I was bullied since I started 2nd grade up until 10th grade.
- Didn’t have the closest relationship with my parents. So I was seeking for it everywhere else.
- I hated being dark, tall, and fat. It was put in my head that it’s bad at a very young age.
- I watched certain situations growing up and I automatically put up with crap just because I thought that’s what you are suppose to do. Not necessarily knowing that those crappy situations were actually crappy (If that makes sense) until I questioned.
- I didn’t have many supportive friends. I hung with the wrong crowds attempting to fit in.
- I was poor as hell.
All of those factors made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of my own love, no one else’s love, or a better life in general. Now if I really loved myself, I would not have put up with crappy friends. I wouldn’t have been so hurt about not receiving the type of support/affection I desired from family. And I wouldn’t have sulked in my financial pity party.
Step 3: Create The Process
This is the part where I figured out a solution to the problem. I knew I was lacking, why I was lacking, and now I can fix it. So I came up with a list of things I could do overtime that would help with gaining self love.
- Telling myself everyday that I am beautiful, worthy, and capable of anything I put my mind to. Sounds cliché but it worked. I had to hear that somewhere, even if it was coming from my own lips. Besides if you don’t believe it, how is anyone else?
- Exercise. I took long walks (now my legs and bum looks like a sculpted master piece). I also decided to do full body workouts. This allowed me to feel a lot better inside and out. Health is wealth. And my health became my new passion. If I didn’t love myself, I wouldn’t give two flying saucers about the poisonous things I was doing to my body. (Now whatever you do with your health is your thing! This is what I did personally to feel better. Your health, your rules!)
- Started to care more about my appearance. I didn’t have to put on a full face of make up and 6 inch heels. But I did put on a clean t-shirt and workout pants. I made sure my wigs were neat (My last break down, I shaved off all my hair. Yes honey, she had a Britney meltdown.). I also started to drink more water to help clear up my skin.
- I started to only work jobs that I know I would enjoy. Even if that meant I had one job I hated to pay the bills but my 2nd/3rd job was something I loved.
- etc. The list goes on, these are just examples.
Step 4: Eliminate The Toxins
The final and I believe most helpful step. GET RID OF THE POISON. That means my friends/ family members that only wanted to call me when they were in trouble, having problems, or wanted something. That job that literally sucked the little joy I had and replaced it with anger. The living space that was causing me to have nasty thoughts, feel worthless, and feel irritated.
My environment had a major effect on me. If my environment or the people in were not uplifting, positive, or loving then I could not possibly expect to successfully reach my journey to self love.
Once I got rid of the toxins, the process became easier. The self loave goal became more attainable.
That’s it folks! Those are the steps I took to self love. If you decide to try these steps out on your own, let me know how it goes! I wish you the best of luck.
Remember, in order to live greatly, you must love yourself like no one ever could. 😀